Defining Moment

I went to church Sunday, and the preacher talked about something called  "defining moment."  His definition of a "defining moment" being the moment you realize your life will never be the same again. 

So far, I have only experienced really one defining moment.  The moment being last year when the only thing I was depending on was truly God.  For the first time in my life, I learned what it was like to truly surrender all I ever dreamed of, wanted, planned, pre-arranged, envisioned, etc.  And, have to give it up.  Not so much because I wanted to, but because of circumstances everything I was planned was literally shattered.

It's been a year since my defining moment, and some of the choices I made still haunt me in a way.  Having the mindset of "if only."  If only I worked harder, if only I would have doubled major, if only this or that. 

The thing is, life does not work like that.  There is no rewind button, saying "if only" is throwing yourself a pity party full of regrets. 

Earlier today, I actually came across someone who was strongly entangled with my defining moment.  Needless to say, it really brought my day down. It's true what they say that kindness kills, if you ever want to get back at someone who hurt you- just smile and be kind as possible (seriously).

But anyways, just a whirlwind of regrets, self-conscientiousness, and memories floated my mind.  However, now that I have prayed and had a chance to just meditate about it.  I've realized- I've done more with my life this past year than I have my entire life!

I've lost 30 pounds, ran my first 5 K, went to Boston, volunteered at the hospital, became secretary for my IHI chapter, accepted into the HSM program, found a great church where the Holy Spirit just radiates, and have a developed a closer relationship with Jesus than I could have ever expected.

I would like to say everything happens for a reason, but I think a better expression is "God can turn any disadvantage or circumstance into a higher purpose of our lives!" 

But, probably the best Bible passage to sum what I'm trying to get across is Romans 8:28-

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

This passage is not saying that life will be perfect, that we will have abundant riches, become the most popular, or the most beautiful.

It's saying that regardless of our circumstances or condition, God is able to use us for His Purpose.  Whether His purpose for us is being a janitor or a church deacon.  We may not like His purpose that He has planned for us now, Heck we may not even understand it.

But, I find that time reveals all the mysteries that God has placed in our life.  And not gonna lie, that scares me- but excites me as well!

Knowing that what once haunted me, the regrets I have, or the dumb decisions I will make in the future- God will not only always love me, but will always be able to use me for His Kingdom!

We will never be able to follow the path of righteousness 100 percent, but God will always be able to create a new path for us wherever we stand (if we allow Him).

Have a blessed night,

<3 KM