Cornstone

Hello friends, no time no see, eh?

Well, this school year has been pretty good starting off (all A's so far!).

Let me just say, that at the beginning of the school year (like the first 4 weeks) I have been on a roll, doing assignment after assignment.  Even somehow managing to read 2-3 chapters for each class.  It was fresh, it was lemon zesty chicken, it was a new school year!

BUT.
Let me say that one more time.

But...

It is 6 weeks into the school year, and I am honestly starting to get bored.  Not burned out, but unmotivated. Unmoving. Stagnant in my studies, procrastinating what needs to be read or done.

Yesterday, I noticed that for the past 2 weeks I have not been going to my weekly church service, I have barely touched my Bible, and not even playing my "Big Fish FM" (Christian radio station) in my car. 

I realized last night, I am not prioritizing my life.  When Jesus is the cornerstone of my life, I lose focus.  I lose endurance. I lose passion for the life that I have been given.

Last night, I went to Uprise- the Christian college church for students thing-y ministry.  Let me just say, after being in the environment walking in.  I became a new person.

I was jolly, upbeat, talking with people I didn't even know.  Once I heard the band play and the worship services started, it felt like I fell in Love again!

That feeling you get when you just KNOW God is with you, that your Holy Spirit is just dancing with joy in your heart, and nothing else in the world matters- but God.

This was the feeling I experienced last night that I dearly missed.

So, you may be wondering how this all relates.

Well, what the message last night expressed what Grace being not an excuse to live life, but to what is pushing us forward in life.  And, for the past two weeks- nothing has been pushing me, nothing has been motivating me.

For the past two weeks, I haven't been crazy.  I haven't been clubbing, lyings, stealing, cheating, none of that.  I have just been...breathing and going day by day.

Last night, the pastor said: "The devil doesn't attack your actions, he attacks your faith."

It's possible to be a good person with God (honestly), but it's impossible to be perfect without Jesus.  Jesus covered sin, He gives us grace.

But, when you remove your faith from God- you're left being just that- a good person.

As believers, why do we fall into this trap by thinking that "as long as I don't screw up to bad, I'm good to go- Jesus got my back."

So there it is, grace- it's done, been done, will be done for all of eternity. (Once saved, always saved type of thinking).

However, what isn't constant is your relationship with God.  How much time and commitment is invested with your relationship with Jesus. Kind of like any other relationship, it doesn't become richer, fuller, deeper, or beautiful- unless you spend time with them, talk to them, and so on.

So, I ask myself- how can God show me deeper parts of His plan, His love, His grace...when I'm not on the same level with Him.  I'm sure God is waiting on me, you, all of His creation to become prepared.

Like when you are proposed to, your future husband will probably be anxious for the day he can propose to you, but he won't until the time is right.  When you are both prepared mentally and spiritually. And, once you get married- it's not the end, but just the beginning to a deeper journey where you discover each other's habits, quirks, and weird sleeping patterns

I feel God does the same thing, we are spiritually connected, but we can't meet the next milestone until we're ready. 

Last night, I started a new milestone where I know I need to invest time, patience, and prioritize Him first in my life.  I applied for a weekend job that is from 8:30 am to 5:30 pm, Saturday and Sunday.

This job, from what the description reads- it is totally in my job scope, can lead to great experience, and will be a great weekend job.  However, I would have to miss church EVERY weekend.

I know God is telling me, if offered the job- don't take it.  As much as I would like to, I would just be keeping up the habit of prioritizing God in my life.

My life is in crumbles without Jesus as the center of my focus and my faith.  Last night, one of the singers you could just tell he was in love with his Father and Savior.  The gleam in his eyes, reflected in the light with amaze.  I'm not writing this because the guy was attractive or whatnot, but because it was beautiful the expression of love he had towards God.

We can sing in church, go to every Bible study, and listen to Hillsong all day.  But, without love- it means nothing to God.  I want to fall more in love with God, where people can just read it on my face and in my actions. 

So ask yourself, what are my priorities?

Do my actions show love, or just where I go?

What is the center of your life?
What is the basis of your purpose or meaning?

Feel free to comment :)

Have a blessed day,
<3 KM