Self-Absorbtion

One of the worst, but also best, things to be told is constructive criticism. In a recent heart to heart conversation with a good friend, there were some comments that hurt in the moment.  But, after pondering on them and mellowing out the pain that was in the moment, I realized that they were true.

One of the comments that really struck a cord was my tendency to be self-absorbed.  Self-centered.  The tendency to only do what is best for me. 

After this deep talk, I had flashbacks of all the times I thought of only me.  When attending an event, if it was boring or if I was tired, I would want to leave even though the rest of my friends wanted to stay.  Friends would invite me to events, but I never would invite them to anywhere or be remotely involved with what I was doing in the moment.  I made plans at my convenience.

Yeah, I realized how much I suck as a friend.

But, the talk also let some skeletons out of the closet of how much I hurt people with my words and actions.  By being so caught up with what I feel, there is a blockage of sensory to how others feel and want.

Luckily, the Bible truly is a guide to EVERYTHING.

Philippians 2:3-4 says:

"Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." 

 When Paul wrote this, he truly made a point.

As humans, we are social creatures called to make deep, meaningful and powerful relationships with one another.  Yet, if we are only consumed with our own interests, not only do we hurt others- but we hurt ourselves.  We will lose those friendships that were once held close.

When we ignore the needs of those close to us, we ignore the purpose God had for us.  God did not just create Eve to procreate with Adam, but He created her to build a lifetime relationship with Adam.

From that example, by Eve putting what she wanted (the fruit from the tree of knowledge) before what was good- she opened the flood gates of sin.

What we do for ourselves may not be as intense, but it can certainly lead to the same amount of pain and suffering for those around us.

Here is a list to become less conceited:

1. Instead of "I" or "Me," say "You" or "We."  It creates a sensing and involvement of everyone, not just yourself.
2. Instead of talking about your problems/ issues, ask what is bugging others
3. Offer support and encouragement to others for their problems
4. Be the 1st one to offer plans, don't expect others to invite you first.
5. Don't bail out on the plans (unless it's an absolute emergency)
6. When conversing, have DEEP conversations, not just superficial small talk.
7. Not just tell people how much you appreciated them in your life, but SHOW them.
8. Pray for your relationship, that good relationships will last and you will become closer.

At first, all of this will be hard to adjust to- but over time, it will help us grow as disciples and our characters.  And, as a result, will be with us the rest of our lives to make an impact.

Have a blessed day,

<3 KM