Knocking at Doors

I am finding lately that I cannot force anything upon anyone.  The only people who force others to do what they want are dictators and control-freaks.  I am neither of those.  However, I am a girl who is selfish and likes to things to go her way.

The other night, I basically gave someone close to me two choices: my way or the high way.  Looking back, not only did I come across as selfish, but insensitive to the other person's emotions.  Last night, we talked through the emotions and came to the conclusion that you can't force someone to become something they're not, especially when you love who the person already is.

I now understand, as Christians most of us do this to non-believers.  We scare them away usually by trying to force a life-style, a life commitment, a personal relationship with the greatest being in existance.

The thing is, God does not force us to follow Him.  Who are we to force God's creation to follow Him, when God does not?  

God wants the love and desire to be with Him to be genuine.  By trying to force people into Christianity or even scaring them into religion, we not only hurt our relationship with the person.  But, also their relationship with God.

God is patient, God is kind.  He may not force His love, but He does make it quite clear that He does exist.  

Romans 1:20 states:

"For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, 

have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse." 

There is no excuse for not believing in any sort of God, in my opinion.  Even those who have never heard of Christ or our God believe in some sort of spiritual being/ creator.

In weird, crazy ways God makes it clear that He exists.  He does this through miracles and blessings, as well as being a comfort during dark times.

So, next time you are down.  Feel as if someone or many people you care about are not responding to the message of Christ you are giving them, maybe you should back off and pray.

Pray a lot. Pray for them. Love them! Not scare or force them.

Remember the acronym: Pray. Until. Something. Happens.

Something usually does happen, at least over time.

Trust me when I say, God is not just knocking on their door; He's banging on it.

Have a blessed day,
 <3KM

Planting Seeds of Faith

November has been a crazy month so far.  I have putting more effort into my studies while at the same time trying to put forth more effort towards God and my relationships with those around me.  Last weekend, I came across how poor my relationships are with some people- how they are very shallow and haven't grown.

How do relationships grow?

I figured, they have not grown because I have not been watering the seed for the relationships to grow.  Especially being in college, balancing time is the hardest thing to do.  So, I try to plan lunches, brunches, and coffee with people- but that's expensive when you're on the 9-meal plan.

I now know that even though you can't spend the time like you want to, or should, with other people; especially when it feels like they don't want to be friends with you (that usually isn't the case).  All you can do is do your best!

Focus on the relationships that are the most important to you, and you will see bigger changes in those relationships- but do not get stuck in your bubble, be willing to expand your friendship circle one person at a time.

For instance, the Disciples hanged about with Jesus and each other for a while, but once they saw that all they could gain together was gone, they expanded and made more friends.  And, through the grace of God- they witnessed their testimony of how Amazing their Lord is, changing lives person by person, day by day.

According to a preacher I saw once, the message was- "God saved you to save another person."  You never know who you have helped saved, or have at least planted a seed.

That is the duty of a Christian.  To not only Praise God, but work through Him to plant, water, and sow seeds.

The person you witness to has a choice when you plant a seed: to slightly bury it, or cast it away.

You cannot just shove a seed into the person, it is their choice whether they want the seed or not.  Who knows, maybe they prefer another person's seed.

The only thing you can do, when a person rejects your seed, is to live a Godly lifestyle.  I do not mean floating around the world like some kind of pansy, showing off how cool you are like God.

But, I mean praying before dinner, not cussing, trying to be a good friend, and most importantly- showing love and compassion to a person, is a Godly lifestyle.  You may be the only Bible a person may ever read, is some wise words I heard before.

Especially in my group of friends, most of them are not Christian.  I believe God has placed me in their lives for a reason, maybe just to plant seeds, or to help sow, and reap the seeds as well.

I still want to express love and compassion to those who are not my closest friends, and sure the relationships with these people may not be as strong.  But, I'm sure everything will get better with these relationships.  One can only pray, and live the way Jesus would.

"He is like a tree planted by water, 
that sends out its roots by the stream, 
and does not fear when heat comes, 
for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
for it does not cease to bear fruit.” 
Jeremiah 17: 8 

Have a blessed Thanks Giving,

<3 KM

Cookin' up time for Jesus

I have recently discovered that I have a peculiar, somewhat procrastination habit, to cook instead of doing homework or studying.

So far this week, I have made Vegan Banana Peanut Butter Bread, Vegetarian Pasta, Spinach Pizza Bagels, 2 batches of brownies, and Cookies.

Oh my goodness!

Fortunately, my fellow starving college student friends have been the ones consuming the food!  Though, one thing I tend to do is try to make the food as healthy as I can.

The picture that's up is Banana Peanut Butter Bread where I used flour, sugar, 2 banana's, vegetable oil, and lots of peanut butter.  I try to avoid using milk and eggs in the food I make, in case someone is lactose intolerant or for my vegan suite mate to try eating.

But what is the point of all this, besides the fact that I can cook well- it's that I realized God doesn't substitute anything in our lives.  I realized lately, from reading Crazy Love (an amazing book thus far), is that I try to substitute my love and praising of God with deeds.

I stick to my habit of never going out of my way to help others, to try to avoid embarrassment, and to be a disciple.  I'm not saying that I want to become one of "those" Christians.  The one's that try to force religion, trying to lead a horse to drink Holy Water that its not thirsty for.

So, what should I do?

I figure, make the Holy Water look more appetizing to the horses we gather.  Show them that the Holy Water is good for their thirst of water.

John 4: 13-14:

" Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again,

  but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. 

Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

Jesus offered His life to provide a Source of an UNLIMITED SUPPLY of Water!  I am learning that I need to start drinking this Holy Water more by reading my Bible more, praying for more than five minutes before I go to bed, and spending more time with my Heavenly Father, Creator, Abba.

If I can make time to cook all these delicious foods, imagine how delicious my relationship with God can become!  

I cannot cook my way up to Heaven, I cannot lead others to God by hiding around in the kitchen.  

Have a blessed Day

<3 KM

Disney and Brick Walls

We are all familiar with the Little Mermaid, most likely Disney's Little Mermaid.  She was an outgoing mer-person who wanted to change her life and become human.  However, she did this the wrong way by trading her voice to an evil Sea Witch, when she only needed to confront her Father about the issue.

Why am I talking about the Little Mermaid? I have no idea, it just seems to fit what is on my mind currently. The topic being Change and Speaking out.  I guess the Princess Mulan would be a better fit?

Unless Mulan did not speak out about the Huns, her country would have been destroyed (I highly recommend watching this movie!).

But, anyway.

Change, unless you want change in your life you have to speak out.

This has been a very soul searching week, in which I am learning so much about myself that I the part I like to keep hidden keeps peeking over the walls I have up.  And, that's usually what we usually do: build a brick wall between ourselves and the people we should be close too.

Last night, I opened up to two people in my life.  One being someone I want to get closer too, the other I have been close too for the past couple months.  I admit it, I have trust issues.

But, it's not only trust issues with other people, but with God.  Which is silly, considering God has never let me down.  I guess, I am finding that with God- He is not human, He is a being so powerful, just and beautiful! God is perfect, what reason can I think of not to trust him?

Not trusting God, or those around you, just leads to a stagnant point in your relationships where there's nothing, but brick walls.  God knows everything about us, individually, down to how many neuron cells we have, the number of hairs on our head, the pulse of our heart, the thoughts we create every moment, even the speed of  the growth of our toe nails.

How can we NOT trust someone like that!

I pray that those who are going through the same obstacle realize, there is no reason not to trust God; the Creator of the Universe, the King of Kings, the Hope that has blessed us with Salvation!

As for the ones around you, take baby steps.  Remember, Relationships with fellow Christians is very important because these relationships are the Vertebral disks in The Spine of our Christianity (I'm a Nursing Major) that helps Straighten our Posture towards God!

As well, to change these or any other relationships that are stagnant- speak out! Pray to God, Worship his name in songs, and to Hear from Him try reading the Bible and look for the signs he gives us Daily!

It may not be sinning by holding in what needs to be said, but it does hurt your relationships with others more.  Whether removing one Brick at a Time of your Walls or Crashing it all down at once- I promise, you will feel so much better towards the end!

Proverbs 3:5-6
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight. ” (NIV)

Have a blessed day,

<3KM

"Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got."--Janis Joplin

"Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that...Don't compare yourself with others."- Galations 6:4

How often in life do we compare ourselves to others?  Whether the matter of subject is how attractive we are, how intelligent we are, or even how much of a better Christian others are?

That is how I have been feeling lately, for I fail to go to church every Sunday.  I fail to attend every social/ outreach event my fellowship has. And, I also fail to read my Bible everyday.

This idea that I am not profiling my duties as a Christian has consumed my life and  has became my goal by becoming a better Christian.  I mean, it's so easy to look at another person and envy whatever relationship they have with God.  I don't know about you, but I envy the Christians who are able to explain every detail about God from the top of their head or when they pray, it's poetry.

On the bright side, I can at least say I have been doing some things right such as living a Christian life-style pretty well by not cussing, being celibate, and praying every night before I go to bed.  The thing is- there is more to Christianity than living the life-style of one.  You also have to develop a relationship with God and grow with faith as you mature.

I would say that right now, my relationship with God is stagnant.

As a result, I am also consistently comparing myself to other Christians trying to learn from them how to grow in Christ. 

I guess, all I can do now is to talk to more mature Christians and follow by their example of how to grow.

As well, not be consumed by the idea that I am not good enough for God.  None us are!  Remember that there is nothing we can do to make God loves us less or more.  Yet, growing in Him is one of the most remarkable experiences that should be sought after.

" [Let's learn to be thankful for how God made us, in spite of our faults. The example of Paul the Apostle.] For I am the least of the apostles, that am not meet to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the Church of God. 10 But by the grace of God I am what I am: and His grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me."-
1 Corinthians 15: 9-10

Have a blessed day!

<3 KM

Hope and Blessings

Sometimes, well actually most of the time, when a challenge comes my way that I have to face, I cannot help but think to myself, "this is going to be a train wreck and I probably will die from it."  Yes, I can be a bit dramatic. But, I come to find that whether I quote that before a Chemistry exam or before I face a common day frustration, I usually take the death-march to where I need go and face the challenge.
  And, as you can see, I am still alive and able to write this blog post.  As humans, we have an urge and desire to succeed.  As a result, we tend to get nervous, receive butterflies in our stomach, and continue to succeed or fail the challenge presented before us by God.

What I tend to forget is that everything is okay, and everything will be okay.  I mean, God has never failed me.  He has certainly steered me away from disastrous situations (especially boys), and he has led to where I need to be, I believe. God has also led me through the storms that have came across my path.

For example, the past couple weeks I have been stressed with FASFA and wondering if I would be able to attend college or not this year.  Here's some advice: always apply FASFA early, or it will take forever to know your award.

Well, I only received a small loan and there was no way I would be able to afford college.  I just continued to constantly pray about the situation, and on July 30th I finally received notice that I earned a scholarship for Nursing again.  And trust me, I was screaming in the library with joy when I read the notice on the computer.

And now, everything is much more relaxed for me.  At least for now, I still have to worry about paying off a speeding ticket and books for my classes. Yet, I know I just have to remain hopeful and pray about the situation.

Jeremiah 29:11 states: "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Although I am still uncertain as to what God has in store for me, but I think He wants me to become a Nurse and do good for others, just like He has been good to me.

So, if you readers feel like tomorrow you are going to take a death-march attending your first day of school, a math test, or even work! I highly suggest praying about the issue!  God is in control, and he will never fail you!  Because, God is Love.  And Love never Fails. :)

A Love Worth Giving

1st Corinthians 1: 4-8 states: "⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  ⁸ Love never fails..."  And, as Christians, we are supposed to follow this principle showing others God's Love.
 
Have you ever tried describing yourself with this verse? So it's: "Kendra is patient, Kendra is kind. She does not envy, she does not boast, she is not proud..." I have to stop there.  Describing myself in these terms is a total lie that I, nor anyone else, can live up to honestly.  That is,  everyone except Jesus.
 
"Jesus is patient, Jesus is kind.  He does not envy, he does not boast, he is not proud. Jesus does not dishonor others, Jesus is not self-seeking, Jesus is not easily angered, Jesus keeps no record of wrongs. Jesus does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Jesus never fails..."---Sounds true, doesn't it?
 
You have to understand that Jesus is Love, that's why the two go one in one.
 
Saying that I am any of these things 100% of the time is a complete lie.  Sure, I may be kind usually.  I may not envy too much, nor boast too much.  But saying that I'm patient is a complete joke, at stop lights- you bet I am impatient.
 
As Christians, we sure do want to say that we are all of these things, but we're not.  We're only human.  And Jesus was human, but He was also God.  "God is Love" (1 John 4:8), as well we are not Love 100% of the time.  I may be a Loving Person, but that is completely different than being the one syllable word Love. 
 
Most of the time we force Love that shouldn't be forced.  For instance, we have a troubled relationship with our spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend/parents/friends/strangers/brothers/sisters/etc., so we try harder.  "My friend needs my forgiveness? I don't know how, but I'm going to give it."  "I don't care how much it hurts, I'm gonna be nice to that snob across the room."  "I'm supposed to love my neighbor? Okay.  By golly, I will."
 
So we try to Love.  Teeth clenched. Jaw firm.  We're gonna Love if it kills us! And it may just do that.
 
But, the thing is- to Love someone, don't we have to experience Love?  That's where God settles in.  The secret to Loving is receiving.  "We love, because He first loved us" (1 John 4:19).
 
We may not be 100% Love, but we can try to still be Loving.  Begin by accepting your place as a dearly loved child.  "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us" (Ephesians 5:1-2).
 
Want to learn to learn to forgive?  Then remember how you have been forgiven of your sins.  "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you" (Ephesians 4:32).
 
Having trouble to put others first?  Remember the way Christ put you first. "Though [Jesus] was God, He did not think of equality with God as something to cling to" (Philippians 2:6).
 
Especially in my case, needing more Patience? Drink from the patience of God.  "The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent" (2 Peter 3:9). 
 
And, are you having trouble being kind to snobs, ungrateful relatives, or cranky neighbors? God puts up with us when we act the same.  "He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked" (Luke 6:35).
 
Can't we Love like this?
 
Sure we can!
 
But, not without God's help we can't.
 
Have a great day!
 
<3KM
 
PS: This post was inspired by "A Love Worth Giving" By Max Lucado, which is an excellent book and Christian Author!

Extra Luggage: Empty Out the Socks and Shirts, Pack more Underwear

 

How many times do you over pack?  Whether you are going to your Grandma Mary's for Christmas, going camping with friends, or going to the beach?  Sure, you are prepared.  But, some items you bring with you are completely unnecessary and require extra hassle to luggage.

As humans, we certainly have extra baggage.  Baggage from past experience, relationships, and bonds that we bring with us wherever we go.  However, not all extra baggage is bad.

We need some extra sometimes to prepare us for where we go by using the wisdom that was learned.  However, there is a difference between carrying our past with us as a security blanket or extra luggage, and being prepared.  Through this concept, allow God to sift through your baggage. 

Allow Him to be like your mother that rummages your suitcase before you leave to camp, making sure you don't bring a rubber snake, but makes sure you have a tooth brush packed.  God will keep packed the very best of what you can use and take the burden of the unstable.

In Matthew 11: 28-30, the verse states:

²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

 

So, any extra luggage you are carrying- turn it all over to God!  He will be able to make any problem lighter that it is.  For instance, I have been looking for a job since the end of the school year, and what I have been doing is turning the issue over to God.

I have looked for jobs practically everyday, while attending school from 8 AM to 6:30 PM.  The process I have been doing is maintaining my hopefulness of acquiring a job and praying that a job will happen.

Today, actually, I received an e-mail from one of the jobs I applied to a few weeks ago.  I will really hope and pray that I receive the job!  If I don't, it's not meant to be.  But, I have a hunch it's all according to God's purpose.

In the meantime, anyone reading this who is feeling like they are over packed, carrying extra socks full of sorrow or wrinkled shirts with stains of anger.  Allow God to urge you to pack Underwear full of hope and trust.  

Because, it's like my mother says:

"You can never carry enough Underwear."

 

Have a Blessed Father's Day!

<3 KM

How the Lost Get Found

A few weeks ago, my friend on Facebook tagged me in a post (yes, I talk nerdy- don't judge me).  And, in this post, she thanked me for teaching her what Love means.  By this, I have talked to her a bit (maybe a lot) about how God's love has been in my life.  I have always faced issues with self-worth, and honestly...I still do.

Just because I am a born-again Christian does not mean that God has solved all my problems.  But, he has certainly made my problems less of a burden.  I used to have the lowest self-esteem when I was younger, especially in middle school.  I recall one time when my acne was so bad that one time, I got on the bus and two boys behind me teased me.  They asked me, "Don't you wash your face with soap, Pizza face?"

Yes, I am being very vulnerable right now telling you these things.  But, it's the hardships that we face that make us stronger.  Being teased and bullied has actually helped make me the loving person I am today.  I try to never judge someone because I have been there before, to be judged on superficial things that have no purpose.

It's funny how people see things in us that we never see in ourselves.  I know I can be a kind person, but I just think that it is amazing to know that by being a good friend, I can be recognized as a supporter in one's faith.

This song, How The Lost Get Found is fantastic!  I love how Britt Nicole's kindness is able to heal these broken hearts and help others realize that God does care, and he certainly does love.

Afterall, God is LOVE.  If anyone reading this is feeling weak at heart, or weak in Faith.

Pray.

I promise that everything will get better over time if you just Pray.

Love, your Sister-in-Christ,

<3 KM